Erm...help?

Bit of a panic post looking for answers.

In short: the scales say I've gained 8lbs since Saturday afternoon (yes, 2 days ago).

Now I know I had a few beers Saturday (and I do only mean a few, like 2 pints of beer, 3 pints of cider, 4-5 vodka & diet cokes).  I know I had some not-so-great food Sunday (bacon roll for breakfast, couple of sausages at lunch, a white pita bread with dinner).  Still though, 8lbs? In 2 days? Seriously?

Someone educate me.  Can I actually gain that much fat in such a short period outlining what I ate/drank above? Am I looking at 'water weight'?

I'm going to blow a gasket if one night (and not even a very heavy night out at that) out is capable of wiping out more than a month of effort and time.

Reflection

Not really sure where to begin with this post, thoughts are a bit of a jumble.

I've mentioned in other posts that I've perhaps spread myself a little thin this year.  I co-own and manage a company that handles investigative insurance/civil law claims; we're a 6 man business with a good yearly turnover, but a very high through-put of cases that take up 5-6 days a week.  I also own and operate a sole-trader firm doing webservers/hosting/backend support, this is a more recent venture but it takes up a chunk of my time.  Further to these two I also work as a part time lecturer, covering 1-3 days a week teaching at my local University.  On top of this, I am also doing a Masters level post-graduate course in academic practice (basically a teaching qualification), this usually represents at least a day a week of study, with another day a week on implementation & review of how it impacts my live teaching.

As you can guess this doesn't really leave me much time.  The new addition this year was the postgrad course, and it often teeters on the edge of "the straw that broke the camels back".

'Why are you telling us this? This is meant to be a health blog' I hear you chirp, and rightly so.  Well, during the last few months I've shared and documented everything I've done towards my health.  I've achieved some good results, overcome some problems and generally kept going.  Contrary to common sense, the extra activity and effort has actually given me energy and motivation in everything else I do.  We all know this, but I still marvel at how counter-intuitive it is that in order to become motivated to do more, we must do more.  It makes me chuckle sometimes.

You also know from recent posts I was very unwell for the best part of a month not long ago.  The simple truth and crux of this post is I am finding it incredibly difficult to recover from this and get back to the energetic, motivated and healthy feeling Ben I was before the surgery & subsequent illness.

I managed to hit the gym on Saturday, as part of my goals laid out in the previous post.  Now it was a very minor session as I haven't been in quite some time, but I went all the same.  I enjoyed every minute of it too.  I then went out all day and night Saturday with some friends, enjoying the praise and compliments that was being showered on me for the apparently very visible results of all my efforts, how good I looked, how much better I appeared, someone even told me I was apparently glowing.

Suffice to say Saturday involved alcohol, and I ended up wasting the entire day Sunday doing sweet **** all with a nauseous hangover.  To compound this unpleasant situation I'd forgotten to go shopping and ended up eating bad food, what little I did it.  Further to this, I had a very large pile of University work to get done before today, and guess what? Yup, didn't get it done.  I'm going to have to try and get some of it done while at work at my other office job this morning, and squeeze the rest in tonight.  That means working late, and no bike or gym.

Fast forward to this morning and I'm reaping the "rewards".  I'm exhausted, warn out, feeling about as energetic as a rock and as slim as a hippo.  I've had a not entirely healthy breakfast (not terribly bad either, but not my usual good choices) and the week is off to a fantastic start.  Oh, and the spring sunshine has completely disappeared too, being replaced by drizzle, gray clouds and dullness.

I feel like I'm juggling and dropping every ball in the process.

As children and young adults we're brought up to always aspire for more, to always achieve and seek to further ourselves.  I'm doing a teaching masters to further a career in lecturing and working two other jobs to support that goal in the meantime, while keeping the option open of completely owning one of the companies if the teaching doesn't work out.  Fantastic on paper, but it's driving me nuts.  

Is it wrong that at this point in time I'd like nothing more than a 9-5 job where I can completely detach work & home, and when I'm off, be able to do what I want (in this case the fitness/exercise/gym) without constantly having to feel guilty for not working?

Part of the reason I started this big health kick was to be more energetic and enthusiastic about my work (all the various avenues).  To begin with this worked, and paid off very well.  After having a small interruption though, I now feel it's the work getting in the way of the health.  The balance has shifted entirely.  I am actually giving serious consideration to quitting at least one of the jobs and folding the smaller business in order to focus on the exercise and health.  I'd give up the postgrad too if I wasn't so close to finishing it.

This goes against everything society says we should aim for and hope to achieve.  Keep the money, keep the titles, I just want to focus on feeling alive and healthy.

Week #11 (21/02/13)

So a day late but never mind.

Weight: 17st 13.5b (-0.5lb)
Chest: 45" (no change) 
Stomach: 44" (-1")
Waist (Hips): 41.5" (no change) 
Collar: 16.75" (+0.25")

My goal for this week was simply no gain over my "illness loss", and after all is said and done I appear to have achieved that goal.  Half a pound is a small loss, but I'd have been just as happy with it staying the same. 

Borrowing from another blogger I read, FrogDog, in analysis of failures/successes I can say the following:

+ I met my goal of no gain
+ Exercise has been good with re-commencing regular use of the bike to and from work
+ Lots of fruit & vegetables this week
- Big chinese takeaway on Friday
- A piece of fried chicken with dinner last night (Wednesday)
- Not keeping up on hydration as well as I have done in the past

This coming week it's time to try and start losing again, with the following goals.

1 - Do at least two gym sessions between now and next Wednesday, focussed on cardio
2 - Regain control of hydration, making sure I meet most of my daily targets for fluid intake
3 - Don't cheat getting lifts to work like I did this morning, bike it every day
4 - More green vegetables
5 - A few less carbs/starchy foods

I've got two pretty big workloads for University to get through between now and Tuesday as well.  A load of degree marking/assessment, and I need to write a 4 week lecture series that starts on Tuesday.  I need to properly manage my time and make sure these don't interfere with my healthy-times(TM), or better yet don't become excuses to allow me to cheat.

Further to the above analysis emulation, another blogger I read posts pictures every 20lbs lost.  I haven't posted a picture in quite some time, and I'm now at 21lbs lost in total, so this seems an ideal time.  For comparison, and to stop myself being a negative nancy, I'm reposting my Day 1 photos alongside todays.

12th December 2012 19st 6lb / 272lb	21st February 2013 17st 13.5lb / 251lb

Well hot diggity damn, I guess even I, Captain Cynicism, can see the loss when laid side by side.  Still a long way to go, but I'm getting there.  Compared to my beginning point, I'm 21lb down, taken .75-1" off the collar/neck, 2" off my chest, 4.5" off my stomach and 1.5" off the waistline.  Veeeery happy with those four inches off the gut!

Yes I know I'm still blurring the faces, which is pointless since I've got a profile photo, but I still feel somewhat goofy looking when taking these photos.

Did I ever mention how much I hate the image controls on this site?

Update Tomorrow

As expected didn't make it to Weight Watchers tonight, and won't be able to do measurements/photo.  I'll post them tomorrow and we can have a proper nosey at whether I've met this weeks goal or not.

Mind over matter?

Just a short post, based on some thinking I was just going through.

Last week I popped into my University for a catchup session.  On the way home I caught myself unawares in a mirror in the carpark lift (or elevator across the pond).  It was the first time I'd looked at myself and thought "wow, I've shrunk" - particularly my chin.  That evening I checked out the old beer belly and that too looked quite nicely smaller; again for the first time really.

Since then (and especially since my chinese on Friday) that feeling has definitely gone away.  Yesterday someone said to me how much better I looked without the double chin, a comment I immediately put down since in my opinion my double chin was firmly still there.  Never-the-less, I took a chance to have a look in a mirror and check out the torso again... and this time felt disappointed.  The scales told me I was no loss/no gain, potentially +1lb yesterday (variance).  I was doubly conscious about what I ate last night as a result, and have been extra well behaved since.

I've spent the day feeling decidedly large, and upon looking in the mirror my backup chin looks huge.

So my thinking is this, do we affect/alter our interpretation of the physical based on what we're considering mentally?  I'm pretty sure the answer is yes and it's something we all do, but still.  Anyone of you other weight loss folks suffer from this occasionally?

Back on track

So another week is drawing to a close (yes I know it's Tuesday, but my 'plan' operates Wednesday to Wednesday).

I don't think I'll make it to Weight Watchers tomorrow (I have a date, go me) but we can discuss how the week has gone, particularly since the problematic Saturday summary in the previous post.

First off, the sun arrived over the weekend.  "So what?" I hear you chime! Well, it's no secret many of us are 'solar powered' and I'm certainly one of them.  The arrival of sunshine each winter/spring is a momentous occasion, and a momentous dose of energy too.  

My weekend saw such an extreme quantity of motivation and constructive energy it was unreal.  I know I'm using a lot of superlative adjectives, but they're justified.  I completely gutted and reorganised my home, clearing out nearly three car loads of junk.  Old clothes, DVDs, electronics, papers, you name it.  The charity shop loves me as of now.  Rearranged a load of furniture for more useful space and suffice to say my home, which was previously "cosy bordering on cluttered" is now organised and very allowing of constructive energy.  I simply can't operate in mess and clutter, it's draining.

I got my assignment done on Sunday, that was another big weight off the shoulders too.

Picked up my bike on Sunday as well and have been enjoying the rides (5 miles a day to work and back).  Didn't make it to the gym over the weekend, but as mentioned above the time was certainly put to good use.

The eating has been going better as well.  Did some more healthy shopping on Sunday and stocked the fridge with lots of fruits and vegetables, as well as some more lean meats and the appropriate carbs.  Filling & Healthy has been in full operation since Saturdays moaning post, as has my tracking of all food and activity using the Weight Watchers site again.  Fridays chinese was the one blemish.

My goal this week is a no gain/no loss target.  I'll be incredibly happy if I just keep the weight off I lost through illness.  Not looking for miracles and another 6lb off or something silly like that.  If the scales say 18st 0lb tomorrow, I'll be happy.  Then we start losing again the week afterwards.

Adjustment & Difficulties

So it's been a week of "back to normal", although it's not really back to normal.

After two and a half weeks of eating almost nothing (we're talking a slice of toast every few days, basically) it's been quite difficult to get back into regular eating habits.  It's been even more difficult trying to return to WW Filling & Healthy.

Some days I simply don't want to eat, at all.  Other days I want to binge at levels of stupidity, and always on really bad foods too (salty and spicey stuff particularly).  My hydration has also been shocking, adding to the differences in daily balance.  Before the surgery I was quite happily drinking 4-6 cups of green tea a day and maybe a litre or two of water too.  During one period of this week I managed one litre in three days, and no tea.  I've certainly felt the difference it makes to daily energy levels being dehydrated, not to mention sleep.

I simply can't remember how and what I was eating on F&H before all this happened.  I know I was eating larger breakfasts, medium lunches and small dinners, but not much beyond that.  Guess I need to go digging through my WW tracker.

It's only Sunday but I'm sure I'm going to see a gain at WW next Wednesday.  Whilst the clothes aren't tight again, a couple of items are feeling snug again (especially after Friday nights chinese takeaway... yeah, I know I know).

I'm going to collect my bike from the office tomorrow, get some energy and exercise going again.  I want to do at least one gym session on Monday or Tuesday as well.  I'm missing the positive boost from not doing that, can certainly feel the difference.

Partially I've been a bit overstressed with my teaching course/Masters. I got an extension for one assignment, but it's due in on Tuesday.  The next assignment is already two weeks progressed so I'm behind on that too, and it's a group project.  Just want to get them done and out of the way.  I should be able to get the extended one done tomorrow, fingers crossed.

I could dig up and quote any number of life-lessons regarding knockbacks, picking ones self up, recovering from adversity etc but I don't need to.  I know them, you know them.  I just need to get on with it.

Week #10 (14/02/13)

First weight update in a while, as follows:

Weight: 18st 0lb (-11lb)
Chest: 45" (-0.5") 
Stomach: 45" (-0.25")
Waist (Hips): 41.5" (-0.75") 
Collar: 16.5" (-0.25")

A hollow victory unfortunately, as it all came from illness.  Still, a victory is a victory.

Now let's see if I can actually keep that weight off, or maybe even lose some more.

I'm a little surprised by the measurements though if I'm honest.  I've got a pair of trousers that in November I had to stop wearing, my waistline being so large that I was tearing the button off the top of the flies.  I wore them yesterday into town and I had to stop to pull them up every 50 steps, they were so loose.  Yet according to this I've only taken a combined inch off the hips and stomach.

I'm hoping to be back on the bike tonight, and gym next week.  I've got a big assignment between now and Tuesday that I need to focus my out-of-office time on before I can use my evenings elsewhere.

That's it for now!

Ben

Huzzah

All clear at the doctors and had one hell of a weekend in terms of recovery.  I've still got a little discomfort in the throat, and yawning is incredibly difficult (feels like something is going to snap in there) but I imagine it's just muscles stretching back into shape that haven't been used in ages.

So this week I'm back to work at my office job, seeing how that goes.  I can't foresee any difficulties but you never know when you've been laid out for a fortnight and not eating.  I'm going to avoid University this week, I just can't see a full day of standing shouting to a lecture hall doing my any good so soon.  It's a bit of a mess there (we're only a 2 man team on the course I teach) but can't afford to chance more time off.

I'm fairly sure I've put a few pounds back on in the last 48 hours, but to be quite honest I don't care.  I've been enjoying the simple privilege of being able to eat again.  Never ever underestimate how joyous it is.  Two weeks of water and vitamin tablets doesn't do anyone any favours (and some days I couldn't even manage the tablets; suppository painkillers are the way forward here).

I'm itching to get back on the bike and back at the gym.  Saying that I'm not bothered about a few pounds on is true, but it stops there.  I dropped from 18st 11lbs (263lb) to 17st 11lb (249lb) so I really want to capitalise on this "jump start" as it were. Clothes that were tight to bursting seems in autumn now fall off me (I really, really, really, really need a new belt incidentally) and I'd prefer they stay that way.

Weight Watchers tomorrow night again, see what they put my final weight at for the recovery period!

Does anyone else dislike the word "swab"?

Been in for some tests today.  Infection is still kicking around, and if the red lumpy growth in my throat is anything to go by - it's spreading.

Results on Tuesday.

22lbs lost and counting (since 25/1).  Not bad eh?  Silver linings.

The Tonsillectomy Diet

Short update on my goings on. 

The new pills gave me a fantastic weekend, relaxing, easy, minimal pain involved and always nice and drowsy to pass the time.

Woke up this morning though to a whole new level of swelling and irritation in the throat, could barely breathe it was swollen so much (thanks to the new drugs there had been no swelling at all since Friday). I've also got some unpleasant looking redness/swelling visible in my upper throat that wasn't there before. Looks like I'm back to my doctor tomorrow :(

The title of the post refers to a large amount of weight lost. I'm somewhere between 12-18lbs lost since Friday 25th. I was 19st3lb two weeks ago, today I weighed in at 17st13lb.  Of course, it's not a weight loss method I'd recommend. In fact I'm quite sure a tonsillectomy could be used as a torture method.  Still, it'd be nice to try and keep the pounds off once all this is sorted.